4 Ways to be Your Own Best Friend

We all have best friends that we look to for inspiration, support, and love. They give us the boost we need to feel better. They lift us up when we are down and provide better insight into our situations. I often wonder why we can do this for other people but not ourselves. Don’t we deserve to feel good about ourselves? Don’t we deserve to be kind to ourselves? I feel as though in the American culture, we are expected to be hard on ourselves because it somehow allows for self-improvement to occur. However, at what point are we just feeding into a negative mindset about our self-image? Don’t get me wrong. I believe that self-improvement is important and we should have high expectations for ourselves. However, I believe that the mindset for self-improvement needs to be approached in a different way.

The famous saying “you are your own worst enemy,” comes to mind when I think about this topic. I have noticed that I tend to get in my own way when I want to pursue something. For instance, when I wanted to start this blog, I had a plethora of negative thoughts come into mind such as, “Your grammar is not perfect, so you shouldn’t be a writer at all,” and “you will only embarrass yourself.” This kept me from starting my blog for a long time. Eventually, I decided to be my own best friend. My best friend said, “You should start a blog! You love to write and you can do so much good with it.” This shift in my mindset allowed me to have the courage to pursue writing. Here are my tips on how to be your own best friend.

Encouragement in interests

If you have things that you are interested in such as art, music and sports, don’t be afraid to pursue those activities. Allow yourself to be adventurous! Encourage yourself to get outside your comfort zone and try something new. I promise you that it is worth it. You may not become the next Beyoncé or Picasso, but you will learn so much about yourself and your capabilities. I am one of those people that enjoys dabbling in many different things.

I love archery, music, art, writing and video making. I have found that each of these hobbies have helped me to have a peaceful mindset in times of feeling anxious and depressed. They have also helped me to use more of my creative side and to find creative solutions to my problems. I have created so many art pieces, songs, and articles that I am very proud of. For instance, I’m proud of this blog that I have created. When you pursue your interests you feel a sense of adventure and accomplishment, which boosts your confidence.

Turning away negative thoughts

We all have negative thoughts. In American culture, many of us tend to look at our flaws instead of our strengths. Sometimes one negative thought can cause a plethora of other negative thoughts to occur. I like to call this the Negativity Rabbit Hole. It is so easy to do! One minute we may think, “This shirt doesn’t look good on me,” and this may cause us to think, “I look fat… I hate my body... I’m not beautiful… No one would ever date me… “ I tend to do this all the time especially when I feel as though I failed at something. However, a best friend would not allow you to degrade yourself in such a way. They would tell you that the negative thoughts are LIES. Thus, we need to treat our negative thoughts as such. I call this practice Recognize and Change. When a negative thought occurs, recognize it and then change it into a positive one. For instance, instead of thinking, “I don’t look good in this shirt,” you could replace it with, “This shirt doesn’t compliment my body and skin-tone in the ways I would like it too. I will put on a better shirt.” It’s all about changing your perspective.

Lift yourself up when you are down

A best friend is there for you when you have your trials. They listen to your concerns and help you to overcome your life challenges. They encourage you to stand strong in the face of these challenges. Even when the trial is severe and it seems that hope is lost, your best friend is always there to help you stand and continue the fight. We need to do this for ourselves as well. When a challenge comes, we need to have the mindset that allows us to stand tall and continue the fight. This is what I like to call the Resilient Mindset. This is the mindset that says, “Okay, I know that right now times are severely challenging, but today I choose to have hope. I can get through this. It may take a long time but I am choosing to stay strong through this.” This mindset is very powerful! Whenever I have chosen to think like this, I was able to get through my trials. In a future post I will share a story about how I stayed resilient through my mother’s breast cancer.

Boost Your Self-Confidence

Finally, a best friend brings out the best parts of yourself. They show you an image of your true-self through the way they interact with you. They help you to understand how amazing you really are! This is not something easy to do for ourselves but I challenge you to go look in the mirror and pretend that the person in the mirror is your best friend. Tell them what

they mean to you and the qualities that you really like about them. Tell them what they do for you and for other people. I found this to be a very powerful practice for myself. In the past, I used to believe that I was ugly, dumb and a waste of space. It wasn’t until I started using this practice that I began to love myself more and more. I didn’t love myself overnight. I had to consistently work at transitioning my mindset from a negative one to a positive one. Positivity is a journey, my friends!

Conclusion:

I implore you to practice being your own best friend. It will have a powerful impact on your mindset as you consistently do it. There is no one on Earth who knows you better than yourselves. That is the great advantage! You can stand in your own way or you can blaze a trail unique to your needs. Always know that you are loved by so many people. You have the strength to make a difference in the way you think about yourself. You just need the courage to do it.