Being Proud of Yourself in the Face of Discouragement

We have all faced discouragement in our lives and for many of us it can be difficult to overcome these feelings. I am the type of person that feels the need to excel at everything I do. I really don’t like to fail or give up. And although these are great qualities, sometimes I allow them to control me. When I fail, I feel as though I let everyone down, including myself. Often, I don’t see myself the way other people do. I don’t see the qualities of my character that I should be proud of.

This past year, I graduated with my bachelor’s degree. My plan was to get a job with the newspaper business I had been interning for. After working with the newspaper as a part time reporter, I was offered a full time job. When this happened, I thought all my troubles were over and that I wouldn’t have to look for a job. However, due to the business management, I decided to resign from my position instead. After this, I began my job search.

I live in a very small community where the amount of people greatly exceeds the amount of jobs. And although I am a college graduate, I lack experience. I sought out administrative-type entry level jobs thinking that because of my internships I would get hired. I was turned down at every job I had applied for. I was always the runner-up to the person who got hired. Many friends and family gave me advice and helped me to network but in the end I still needed experience. It has been a catch-22; I need a job to get experience but no one will hire me without experience. I used several online platforms, handed out my resume, and used three different temp agencies. With all of this, I was still unable to get my desired job.

(Now you might be wondering, why haven’t I moved? Well, in this small community, there is a four year college that my husband is currently attending. He still has about two years left in his program before he graduates. Thus, we will be here for at least two more years. And to top it off, the towns surrounding our community are even smaller.)

And then Covid-19 began and my job search was put on pause. With this break from my job search, I came to the realization that I have been stressing immensely for nothing. The truth is that I don’t even need to work because my husband has a good job. Despite this, I am the type of person that feels the need to work and contribute to the family income. I allowed this discouragement to control me and allow me to feel as though I had failed.

Witnessing this, my husband told me something I won’t soon forget. He told me that he didn’t marry me because he wanted me to work. He knows how hard I have been trying to look for a job and he said he was proud of me. There are situations that I just can’t control and this happened to be one of them. The two things that stuck out to me were: there are situations beyond my control and I need to be proud of myself for doing my best every day.

This doesn’t mean I stop looking for a job but rather that I should be proud of myself for my efforts. It’s ok to feel discouraged but I shouldn’t allow it to control me. I’m sharing this story because I know that there are many of you who may feel just as discouraged as I. You may feel as though the mountain is too high to climb. I implore you to be proud of yourself and to never give up.