Dismiss Negative Thoughts

In our culture, it seems as though it is frowned upon to be your own best friend. Confidence is often mistaken for being egotistical. By contrast, belittling ourselves is frequently considered humbling. My friends, there is no doubt that we should self-reflect on our strengths and weaknesses. And there is no doubt that we should strive to improve ourselves. Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean we should minimize and undervalue ourselves. Rather we need to be kind and encouraging.

I have realized that whenever a negative thought comes into my mind, I have to become my own best friend in that moment. Otherwise my thoughts will swirl down the negativity rabbit hole. A best friend doesn’t let you belittle yourself. They act as a mirror to help you to see yourself as you really are.

When a negative thought enters my mind, I acknowledge it and then label it as such. For instance, if I were to make a mistake at work, my first thought would be, “Really? You are being so stupid right now.” After acknowledging and labeling this as a negative thought, I would then rationalize with myself on why this thought is an unrealistic perspective on what happened. In this case, I would tell myself, “Clearly, I’m not stupid, otherwise I would not be able to function as a human being.” Then I would state some self-affirmations to help me remember my worth. In this case I would tell myself, “I have many wonderful qualities and some improvements to be made. I’m always doing my best and striving to learn. I’m NOT a failure or a slacker. I’m human and as a human I’m bound to make mistakes. This is a learning opportunity and I will allow this to improve my work in the future. I will continue to do better. I got this.”

When a negative thought like this repeats in my mind, I continue to counteract it with rationalization and self-affirmations. It is also impactful when the rationalization and self-affirmations are said out loud. This helps me to realize that I don’t have to beat myself up over a mistake but rather allow it to let be a learning experience. My friends, it is OK to have negative thoughts! Acknowledge them and then let them go. They are not worth your time or energy to become discontent and anxious over. Thus, allow yourself to be your own best friend. You are worth it!