The Importance of a Support System

If you are like me, you often attempt to handle things alone. You think by doing this, you will be considered strong. You tend to say things such as “I’m fine,” and “I don’t need help.” In your opinion, being unable to handle emotions such as depression, anxiety, stress, or frustration alone constitutes a dependent and needy person, when it is you. However, when it’s someone else, this belief doesn’t apply. You also tell yourself that venting or communicating your concerns results in being characterized as negative or ungrateful. Nevertheless, this kind of thinking has only weakened us. Due to this mindset, we hinder ourselves from getting the help we need and instead allow ourselves to regress.

We need to remember that there are other people in our lives for a reason; family and friends. It is important to be self-reliant but it is also important to lean on those closest to you for those moments when you don’t feel like you can conquer the world. Be honest with yourself. Is this something you can really handle alone? Is this something that passes easily? Or is this something that is ongoing and is seemingly persistent? Does it weigh heavy on your mind and heart? Now I’m not saying that your loved ones are there to fix your issues. What I’m saying is that they are there to remind you of who you are and what you mean to them and the world. They are there to be a guide and a loving embrace. They are there to be a soft place to fall and a form of encouragement as you rise.

When I was away at college, I attended every single semester taking a full load of classes. At one point, I had been away from my family and boyfriend (now husband) for quite a while. I missed them deeply and wanted to be with them more than anything. At the same time, I felt as though I was drowning in the high expectations of everyone, especially my own. I needed to be the perfect LDS girl, the perfect student, the perfect daughter and a perfect person in general. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my future career-wise. And although I was doing well, I felt as though I was failing miserably. When my friends sensed my melancholy, I pushed them away by saying “I’m fine,” and “I don’t need any help.” However, the isolation weakened me, furthering me into a depressive state.

One night I waited until everyone was asleep and snuck into the living room of our

apartment where I quietly cried. To my surprise, my best friend woke up, noticed I was gone and then found me in this state. I felt incredibly embarrassed at first, but she helped me to realize that my feelings of missing my loved ones were completely valid. She also helped me to realize that I don’t have to be the perfect anything, nobody does. From that moment onward, I began to feel better knowing I had her to help me get through my trial. She would make sure that I never isolated myself but rather fill my free time with nothing but joyful moments. I have and will always be grateful for her continuous love and support.

My friends, you don’t have to be diagnosed with depression to need a support system. It doesn’t matter how mentally healthy you are, we all need it. We all need someone to talk to and to give us strength. This is the greatest way to endure and persevere. Along with this, we also need a support system to be there for us even in our good moments. It’s important that we know we are loved in the good moments as well as the bad. My friends, don’t push away your loved ones when you feel the weight of a trial, no matter how slight or grievous it may be. Your greatest strength comes from the love you have for them and yourself. You need them and they need you! Use your support system.