3 Steps to Overcome Self-Doubt

We have all battled with thoughts of self-doubt. This is the bully that says we are nothing and can't accomplish our goals. This is the bully that makes us question our abilities even when it's statements are proven false. And when it's harsh enough, it discourages us from using our full potential. My friends, it's high-time that we kick this bully to the curb. They are no friend to us. They are not saving us from embarrassment nor discouragement. Instead, they are killing the light inside of us; the light that inspires us to be all that we desire to be. We mustn't listen to the eerie sounds of such negativity. Here are my three steps to overcome self-doubt.

1. Be Mindful and Reflective of your Thoughts

I have notice that my own self-doubt follows a pattern. Whenever I take steps to reach my goals, I become very judgmental of myself. My self-doubt often says: "No one is going to want to read this. Who do you think you are? What makes you so special that you think you should post this on social media. You are a nobody. No one cares about what you have to say." And as I have made decisions on my life direction my self-doubt bullies me further by saying, "You are making a big mistake. You will become nothing without this major or that job. You have ruined your life." These thoughts come because we may be scared about making decisions, allowing change, or failing. For example, I'm afraid of letting people down and failing at my life goals.

Despite this, We need to remember that it's OK to be scared. It's normal to feel this and everyone goes through it; so don't compare yourself to anyone. It's okay to not have all the answers but we can't let it keep us from doing what we need to do. Thus, it's important to recognize your patterns and acknowledge when we are feeling self-doubt. When does self-doubt usually present itself? Does it appear when you are trying something new, or attempting to change something in your life? Or does it simply come when you are working or doing homework? Once you have recognized this pattern, reflect on why this may be. Are you scared of failing or nervous about change? Do you have high expectations of yourself that you're afraid you won't meet? After you have reflected upon this, you can acknowledge it for what it really is and twist it into a positive.

2. Stop, Acknowledge, Twist and Take Action.

We have to remember that self-doubt is a thought that undermines our abilities and nothing more. It is not a true statement but rather a thought that comes from us to degrade ourselves from the inside-out. When we have a thought like this we need to stop it right in it's tracks, acknowledge this as self-doubt and then twist it into a positive. For instance, the self-doubt statement, "I want to be a nurse but there is no way I can pass all my exams. I'm just not smart enough," should then be twisted to "I will become a nurse because I will study hard and learn all that I can. It will be difficult but I will take it one step at a time."

This type of thinking has really helped me to stay positive and realistic in moments where I didn't feel very strong nor confident in my abilities. After we have shifted our mindset, we need to follow up with an action. For example, if you are studying to become a nurse, the action you would take would be to apply yourself as much as you can. This means studying hard and looking for opportunities to grow your skills. And with this, It's important we be our own best friend through it all; the good and the bad.

3. Be Your Own Best Friend:

I know I have talked about this a lot already but that just shows how important it is. Even Dr. Phil has said, "Happiness, peace, a sense of well-being and self-worth come from the inside out. It doesn't come from the outside in...Sometimes we have to give ourselves what we wish we could get from somebody else. Sometimes we have to be our own best friend"(Dr.Phil.com). However, I would argue that we need to be our own best friend all the time.

It is not arrogant nor narcissistic to love ourselves and it baffles me why in our society self-love is often confused with these. It is a great shame that self-love is discouraged due to this. Nevertheless, tell yourself all the things a best friend would say to you even when a thought of self-doubt has not yet presented itself. It is a great practice that will prepare you for all of life's ups and downs. And when self-doubt does happen you need to say, "I love myself enough to not allow this kind of demeaning comments to occur."

It's not easy to overcome self-doubt but as long as we start with these three steps, it will become easier with practice. Remember that you have such great potential with your abilities, talents, personality and charisma. And always know that you can and will do amazing things with your life so long as you choose it. Don't ever allow anyone, especially yourself, to keep you from reaching your full potential. You are strong!