5 Ways to Boost Your Self-Confidence- Have the Courage to be Yourself

There seems to be a trend in our society that devalues self-confidence; the power to believe in yourself and in your abilities as well as understanding your self-worth. We are encouraged to gain self-confidence, and yet when we finally do, we are told that we are self-centered. Thus, when we get the slightest hint of self-confidence, we often shun it for the sake of others. However, in the end we are only hurting ourselves.

My Story:

I have been incredibly guilty of this for my entire life. There would be moments where I would feel confident in my abilities and because of comments such as, "you know how Trin thinks she is so talented?" and "Trinity thinks she's so hot," (both real comments that I have heard) I have allowed myself to become shy and shadow-like.

Due to these comments I would say, "I'm not talented. I suck at music. I suck at art. I suck at dance. I suck at everything," and "I'm so ugly. I'm so pudgy. I have a big nose. I hate my body," to make others feel better about me and around me. As of last year I came to the realization, "why shouldn't I think of myself as talented? Why shouldn't I think of myself as pretty or kind or creative?" Sarcastically I thought, "How dare I have the audacity to love myself and want to grow my skills."

We don't need to put ourselves down to make others feel better. We need to lift ourselves and those around us with kindness and love. Realizing that single fact has given me the opportunity to become more self-confident. Here are my tips and tricks to boost your self-confidence.

1. Be Your Own Best Friend

I can't stress enough the impact of becoming your own best friend has on you. It aids you out of the Negativity-Rabbit-Hole, overcoming self-doubt, and it promotes goal achievement, passion, an understanding of self-worth and self-confidence.

As your own best friend you are there to pick yourself up when you are low. You tell yourself all the things a best friend would say to you such as, "You are smart, you are beautiful, you are kind and you are talented. You have so much potential. You got this, girl!"

This continuous self-affirmation allows you to see yourself as you really are and to have more drive. If we can do this for others, then why not ourselves? This is crucial to gaining self-confidence!

2. Become Assertive

I think there are many of us who are passive because we are afraid to hurt feelings and start drama. I am very guilty of this. However, by being passive we are not being honest and we instead hurt ourselves.

Bottling up your emotions is not the right way to go about fixing any issue. We must be assertive for the sake of everyone involved. There is a stigma that being assertive is rude and sometimes brutal. This is incorrect. This is due to the fact that assertiveness often gets mistaken for aggression.

Here is the difference: assertiveness is being open and honest with the consideration of others. You are appropriately expressive and direct without being unkind. Whereas aggressiveness is being inappropriately direct without the consideration of others. Let me give you a couple of examples:

Scenario 1: You have a roommate who doesn't help out with the chores and you want to talk to them about it.

Aggressive Statement: "You need to do the dishes. I'm tired of picking up your slack."

Assertive Statement: "I understand that you have a lot to do, but I really need help with the dishes. How can we come to a resolution?"

Scenario 2: Your friend asks you to help them move out of their apartment today but you are exhausted after a long week of working and doing finals.

Aggressive Statement: "No. You can do it yourself."

Assertive Statement: "Today I need to rest after the long week of finals and working but would tomorrow be okay?" Or "This weekend I need to rest after the long week of finals and working but may I suggest so-and-so for you to contact?"

It is true that you can be honest and kind! That is what assertiveness is.

3. Look Great- Feel Great

Don't you love that feeling of when you get a new haircut that makes you feel beautiful? I certainly do! This goes into the self-care section of self-confidence.

When I wear clothes that look great with my skin-tone, I style my hair and do a little bit of makeup, I feel amazing! Now I'm not saying that we need to look red-carpet ready or look like fashion models every day, but what I am saying is that when we wear colors that we love and styling our hair to compliment our face, it can make us feel really good about ourselves.

I'm not encouraging you to focus on your looks all the time but rather to appreciate your beauty. Appreciate your beautiful eyes and hair. Appreciate that your look is uniquely you. Personally, I love wearing earth-tones to compliment my skin-tone and applying natural looking makeup. It seems to bring out the features that I love most.

4. Goal Setting

It is easy to get caught up in doing things aimlessly and feeling like you aren't getting any closer to the person you want to become. However, when you are goal setting and creating a plan to make that goal happen, you become more confident in yourself because you are actively working to progress yourself.

It is easy to shrug off what you want from life and call it a "dream," but taking your life in your hands through the process of goal setting and achieving takes bravery, patience and work.

Achieving your goals isn't easy and that's why it is incredibly satisfying when you do; it is the ultimate confidence booster! Therefore, set a goal, make a plan of action and then do it!

5. Gain More Skills

One of the things that has helped me greatly through life has been my love for learning. Over the years I have learned to play and compose music, learned to do karate, to do art, dance, edit videos, write, basic Spanish, etc. And all of these skills have helped me become more confident in my abilities and identified my love for creativity and history.

Skills are a means to progress whether it be professionally or for our own personal growth. It allows us to discover sides of ourselves that we never knew existed before and reach our full potential.

What is so wonderful about this world is that we could live for a hundred years and still never learn enough. Don't hesitate! Sign up for that sewing class, take that online course on web design or take YouTube lessons on how to use Excel. You will be glad you did!

Conclusion:

My friends, self-confidence takes time and work but it is truly wonderful to have. After you finally reach that point, it is essential that you maintain it with these tips. Others will try to tear you down because they see how well you are doing. They will judge you for anything and everything. It happens to everyone, unfortunately. Don't let their comments and actions discourage you from loving yourself and being self-confident. Remember who you are and the great potential you have! You are worth it!